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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Eating pizza naked

MM Journal

Saturday - September 27, 2009

Are you tired of hypey sales language? Are you sick of being tempted by "miraculous" cures, "mind-boggling" profits, and "get-rich-quick" business schemes?

I am too.

Some marketers believe in the "power" of these advertising cliches. Every other sentence of their copy contains a word or phrase of this kind.

But the truth is, it's not necessary. You can sell good products perfectly well without using hypey language.

Last week, I noticed a few such phrases in our marketing copy. It disappointed me. So I highlighted the offending phrases and sent the following note to our creative team:

"Advertising cliches are self-destructive. They suggest to intelligent readers that you are pandering for their business.

"We have great products and services. Our prices are the best in the business. We can do a very good job of selling without resorting to these tired, hyperbolic catchphrases. In fact, by avoiding them we will do a better job. It will make us work harder to explain ourselves more clearly. And our readers will appreciate the fact that we are speaking to them without cliches."

The team responded favorably to my suggestion. So I asked them to identify the most offensive cliches and ban them from our advertising.

We are working on that right now. Here is a partial list of what you won't be hearing from us in the future:

  • Miracle, miraculous, or any other variation of the word
  • Mind-boggling, astounding, or any other such adjectives regarding an investment's performance or returns
  • Offers that are "incredible" -- even if they are

Please don't mistake this as a retreat from marketing. We will continue to enthusiastically sell you on all the great products and services we produce. But we will do so without insulting your intelligence. Expect strong promises. But no more of those hyperbolic cliches. (If you see one of them in our advertising, let us know.)


Bankruptcy is up. Unemployment is up. So how is it that the stock market is doing so well?

Economists and financial gurus have all sorts of answers. But if you ask me -- if you want a businessman's perspective -- I'd say the market is smoking dope and reading USA Today.

Most of the entrepreneurs I know are cutting back on expenses and firing employees. The expense cutting is hurting vendors. And that is forcing them to cut personnel too.

If you take into account "discouraged workers" and the "long-term unemployed" the unemployment rate is already over 15%. I expect it to be even higher by the end of March 2010.

By then, we will be neck deep in a commercial real estate and credit card collapse. Will the stock market still be soaring? My guess is no. But what do I know?

What's more important is that you can make money in any market if you make smart choices and listen to the right people. The experts of Investor's Daily Edge, for example, are bringing in one winning recommendation after another.

  • Andrew Gordon's subscribers have seen capital gains of 58% on a company called Annaly in less than a year. And the company pays a safe dividend of 13%
  • Two weeks ago, one of the stocks in precious metals expert Dr. Russell McDougal's portfolio went up 75% in one day. Another is up 279% since December.
  • Our in-house options guru, Ted Peroulakis led his readers to gains of 63%... 100%... 116%... and 100%... in two months, on the SAME stock – profiting as it rose and fell.
  • And Steve McDonald, our corporate bonds expert is delivering an average of 6% income plus 12% capital gains in his diversified bond portfolio.

This is not the time to be a gun-slinger. The economy is still very weak and the market will eventually reflect that weakness again. But that doesn't mean you can't continue to make safe and substantial profits. Consider letting the experts of IDE be your guides to those gains.


"Losing weight is a matter of simple arithmetic. You've got to eat fewer calories than you burn."

This may be the most popular truism of our ever-fattening society. It is repeated by doctors and health advisors on television, in magazines, and in the pages of bestselling books.

It's universally believed by sensible, educated people. And yet it is completely, utterly wrong!

The kind of calories you consume makes a big difference in how much fat you retain. That's how our bodies are designed.

Dr. Al Sears says that the real reason so many Americans are fat today is not that they are eating more calories than they are burning. It's that what they are eating is exactly the sort of food that makes the body fat.

"Our modern diet is processed and full of additives and other toxins," he says. "Combine that with getting older and you throw off your body's 'fat signals.' These signals tell your body how much fat to make and store."

If you want to lose weight quickly and naturally, eat like a caveman, Dr. Sears says.

What did a caveman eat? Grass-fed meat. Organic vegetables (the ones that grow above ground, not tubers). And fruit.

Reduce or eliminate all foods invented after the invention of bronze. That includes lots of stuff the government and the food industry recommends, such as "whole grain" breads and "lite" fats.

Eating like a caveman isn't all that easy, given the temptations that are out there. I still have my weekly McDonald's because I need a synthetic food fix once in a while. And, boy, it tastes good! But I know that Dr. Sears's advice is right on. So I do the best I can to heed it. Hope you do too.


In 2006, Jeff Leach and Randy Crochet decided to open a business selling healthy pizzas.

Jeff, an archeologist, was an amateur expert in natural health. He knew how bad processed foods are and convinced Randy, a mortgage broker, that they could make a nice living selling a healthy pizza pie.

They spent 18 months and $750,000 researching and testing their product. Then, last year, they opened their first store in New Orleans. Their pizza had a crust made of 12 whole grains, low-fat mozzarella, and a tomato sauce with no additives.

Why they needed to spend $750,000 to come up with that recipe, I can't say. Had they been reading Dr. Al Sears or Total Health Breakthroughs, they could have saved themselves a lot of money.

They called it the World's Healthiest Pizza. And printed on the pizza box cover was a mini "dissertation" (written by Jeff) about how food is processed in the lower intestines. A local marketing guy, Robbie Vitrano, saw their product and convinced them to change the name to Naked Pizza, rewrite their box copy, and advertise on the Net.

Their pizza was tasty -- really tasty, according to some local Internet ratings. And the new marketing pitch seemed to click. Their sales were growing and their reputation was spreading.

Then they took another step. They applied for funding from the Mark Cuban Stimulus Plan, and got the financial help they needed to franchise Naked Pizza nationwide.

Leach hopes to see 1,000 locations or more across the country. It could happen.

These guys wasted a lot of money "researching" their recipe. Still, even with the low-fat mozzarella, it isn't all that healthy.

But what they did really well was find a new way to sell an extremely popular product. And they did so without raising the price or sacrificing quality. In fact, they improved it.

Everybody eats pizza. If you can give people what they want anyway -- cheaply and with a significant advantage (in this case, less guilt) -- you have a product that can catch on.


If you wish you had thought of the healthy pizza idea yourself, don't sweat it.

If you think about it, you can probably come up with your own "spin-off" idea that should work just as well as pizza.

Just keep these points in mind:

  • Retail is a very difficult business.
  • But fast-food restaurants often beat the odds.
  • Healthful foods are becoming more popular.
  • Cheap is always better than expensive, especially today.
  • A single-item restaurant is the easiest to manage.

If I gave any credibility to what I read in the newspapers or hear on talk shows, I'd believe that we are coming out of the Great Recession.

Every day, I hear news about how things are improving. Yet when I look around at all the businesses I know, I can count on the fingers of one hand those that are not in trouble.

I am friendly with the owners of half a dozen restaurants in Delray Beach. They tell me sales are down between 30 percent and 70 percent. My brother-in-law is in the retail jewelry business. "It's a complete disaster," he says. "Most of the industry will be bankrupt by March," he predicts.

My friend Mike wholesales furniture. His outlets are down 30 percent to 50 percent. At Joe's cigar bar, we have plumbers and doctors and brokers -- to name a few trades. They are all crying the blues.

Is it me? Am I hanging out with the wrong people? Am I myopic?

All these hurting businesses mean rising bankruptcies and rising unemployment. And rising unemployment means more bankruptcies.

Yes, the bankers and brokers who have been "bailed out" are doing fine -- or so they say. Their numbers are up because they are taking in all those freshly printed dollars. But that doesn't mean their businesses are getting better. When the Obama administration finally turns off the spigot, we'll see which of them will be standing. My guess is not many.

I'd like to hear from you. How are your friends and neighbors doing? How are you faring yourself? Let me know at AskMichael@ETRFeedback.com.


Far too many middle-aged people live with fatigue. It's so widespread that most think it's a natural part of the aging process.

Guess what? It's not. For many people, it's simply a lack of the nutrients that generate energy and keep you mentally sharp.

Vitamins B12 and B6 are two of the big ones. And Melanie Segala tells me they are also two of the nutrients that people are frequently deficient in.

"They help you sleep, prevent depression, keep your nervous system healthy, produce healthy red blood cells, and generate cellular energy," she says. "The problem is, as we get older, the digestive system becomes less efficient at absorbing them from the foods we eat."

Melanie says the solution is a diet rich in grass-fed red meat and organic eggs, fish, and poultry. And to be on the safe side, you might want to take a good B complex supplement every day.


No discussion of the aging process would be complete without talking about DHEA, Melanie Segala tells me. It's the "mother" hormone -- a building block of estrogen and testosterone.  And it has remarkable anti-aging properties, preventing such signs of aging as excess body fat, thinning skin, and graying hair.

Natural production of DHEA peaks in your 30s. Then it declines at the rate of about 2 percent per year. But age is not the only factor here. Stress can cause your DHEA levels to plummet.

Stress boosts your body's output of cortisol, Melanie explains, and that interferes with the production of DHEA.

Low DHEA levels can leave you open to chronic inflammation, depression, cognitive decline, and an increased risk of cancer. It's also a factor in weakening bones.

So it's a good idea to have your levels checked by your doctor. (It's done with a saliva or blood test.) If you're low, you can take a natural DHEA supplement that can be purchased over the counter. Your doctor will advise you on the dosage.

For more information on DHEA, and other supplements you can take to turn back the clock, click here.


I heard a good bit on public radio recently -- a follow-up interview with a woman who had lost her job as a teacher and was living on unemployment the first time they talked to her.

During the first interview, she was depressed and angry at the government.

Now, she was in good spirits and optimistic.

What happened?

She got off her couch, turned off the TV, and went back to work!

"It was really depressing sitting around all day with nothing to do," she said. "I liked collecting the check every two weeks, but the rest of the time it was boring."

So she started applying for jobs -- any sort of jobs. And, lo and behold, she started getting them! At one point, she was working six part-time jobs at once.

"I was working as a waitress and bartender and office cleaner and sales clerk," she said. "I accepted every job I could fit into my schedule.

"Before long, I was making more money than I was getting from the government. That made me happy. Knowing I could do it alone."

Several weeks later, she was offered a full-time job from one of her part-time employers. It was a good job, with better benefits than the job she had lost, so she took it.

"I've learned what it means to be self-reliant," she said. "I will never accept an unemployment check again. I don't want to be dependent ever again. I know I can find work and make money. I'm going to do it on my own."


Although unemployment is climbing (see above), the number of people getting jobs doing search engine marketing is growing in leaps and bounds.

A new study by Indeed.com says that salaries for those jobs range from $30,000 to well into six figures. That's good news for anyone interested in Internet marketing or copywriting.

If you would like to improve your skills in this area, I'd like to recommend two programs:

  • ETR's Internet Cash Generator, taught by my friend and colleague Bob Bly, a veteran copywriter and marketing consultant. It focuses on marketing techniques that will quickly grow your Internet business (or help turn your idea for a business) into a non-stop cash-generating machine -- in any economy, boom or bust.

Melanie Segala's article in THB on the dangers of cellphones.

Stephanie, one of the readers of this Journal, wrote: "I appreciate an article that provides such realistic, useful suggestions for reducing risks from cellphones. So many articles are just fear mongering and try to sell the 'miracle solution' or tell you to stop cellphones completely, which we know is not going to happen. It may be possible to use all 7 [of Melanie's] suggestions on a daily basis."


[Ed. Note: Michael Masterson welcomes your questions and comments. Send him a message at AskMichael@ETRFeedback.com.]

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